An Untitled Jadam Parody Fanfic
by Adam's glitterkitten
Summary: The title will be changed if people can give me some ideas. I can get really suckish in some of my summaries, so read and find out what it's about!
1. I'm going to kick your ass, Adam!

Jennifer: *lying on the couch, asleep*

Adam: *sneaks up on her and goes up to her ear. He takes a breath before picking up the blowhorn that was next to him*

Kris: *walks in and sees Adam* what are you-

Adam: Shh...

Kris: Did you just shush me?

Adam: SHH!*puts the blowhorn towards her ear and breaths in* WAKE UP, JENNIFER!

Jennifer: AAAAHHHHH! *she wakes up and falls off the couch*

Adam&Kris: *laughing at her*

Kris: That... was... HILARIOUS! *Laughs louder*

Adam: I KNOW RIGHT?

Jennifer: WHAT THE HELL, ADAM! *Gets up and runs towards Adam*

Adam: Uh-Oh! *Runs and screams like a girl*

Kris: *Laughing harder*

Jennifer: ADAM, GET BACK HERE DAMMIT!

Adam: HELP! A CRAZY LADY IS TRYING TO ATTACK AND RAPE ME!

Jennifer: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ME CRAZY YET!

Allison: *Walks in with a cup of hot chocolate and notices Adam being chased by Jennifer and Kris laughing at them* Um... is this a bad time?

Kris: No! *Laughs Harder*

Adam: HELP, SHE'S TRYING TO ATTACK AND RAPE ME!

Aliison: *Grabs Jennifer by the arm and stops her*

Adam: *Bumps in Jennifer and falls* ouch!

Jennifer: *Jumps on top of Adam and stares at him* I. Am. Going. To. Kick. Your. ASS! *Slaps him hard across his face*

Adam: OUCH!

Kris: *Tears falling from his face because he was laughing so hard* Wow, Adam! You really shouldn't have done that to her!

Jennifer: Oh, don't think you're not involved in this, Kristopher!

Kris: Don't call me that! It makes me feel like a child!

*Tommy walks in*

Tommy: Hey guy- Whoa, why's Jennifer on top of Adam?

Allison: I don't really know, I just got here!

Tommy: Kris, do you know what happened?

Kris: Well...

Adam: Kris, don't say a-

Kris: I guess Adam decided to play a trick on Jennifer because when I walked inside the room, he had a blowhorn near her ear. I tried to ask him what he was doing, but then he shushed me, and I was all like "Did you just shush me" because you guys know that I hate it when people shush me, especially people who are trying to trick someone! I mean, it's not like they're going to find out or anything, because eventually they do and that person ends up getting pranked back or getting their ass kicked..

Tommy: KRIS!

Kris: Huh?

Tommy: Stay focused and continuing telling me what happened to cause thi- AAAHHH! *Covers his eyes and starts to run around* MY EYES! MY EYES!

Kris: What's so bad about- OH MY GOD!

Allison: *looks down and sees Adam and Jennifer half-naked on the floor with Jennifer kissing Adam's chest* I'm out! *runs out the room*

Kris: GET A ROOM, YOU TWO!

Adam&Jennifer: Huh? Oh! Sorry guys!

Jennifer: When we get intimate with each other, we sometimes forget we're in public places!

Kris: Well you two should start remembering that when you get intimate around Tommy, it scares him! Just look at him!

*Everyone looks at Tommy, who's crawled up into a ball in the corner, rocking back and forth with a small sheet of cloth being clenched tightly in his hands*

Tommy: *sucking on his thumb*

Adam: Tommy, take your thumb out of your mouth! It makes you look like a 6 year old child who doesn't want to let go of... wait? Is that another blanky behind your back?

Tommy: What? No... *hides the blanket behind his back*

Adam: Give it up!

Tommy: NO! YOU CAN'T TAKE BLANKY JR.!

Kris: Blanky Jr.? Really?

Tommy: His name is Blanky Jr. because Adam shredded my first blanky!

Adam: I wouldn't have shredded it if you hadn't been hitting me upside the head with it after filling it with rocks!

Tommy: Hey! They were supposed to be marshmallows! I told Kris to find me some and he came back with them. I thought they were stale and I hit you with it because I got bored and I was afraid to hit Jennifer because she might have pulled one of her killer vampire moves on me!

Adam: JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING BLANKET!

Tommy: TAKE MY BLANKET AND I WILL KICK YOUR ASS LAMBERT!

Adam: Try then!

*3 minutes later*

Adam: AAAAAAHHHHH! GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF OF ME!

Tommy: NO! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO TAKE BLANKY JR.!

Adam: I WON'T TAKE YOUR STUPID BLANKET! NOW GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!

Tommy: *gets off of Adam only to be pulled to the ground by him*

Adam: DON'T EVER SIT ON ME AGAIN! YOU MAY BE SMALL, BUT YOU'RE HEAVY AS HELL!

Jennifer: ADAM STOP YELLING AT TOMMY AND GET YOUR CUTE ASS OVER HERE SO I CAN KICK IT!

Adam: *runs into the opposite room* YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!

Jennifer: ADAM GET YOUR CUTE FACE AND ASS BACK HERE SO I CAN BRUISE ONE!

*Katy walks in*

Kris: Hi Katy.

Katy: Hello, Kris. Hi Tommy!

Tommy: Umm... Hi.

Katy: So Tommy... *gets closer to him*

Tommy: Uhhh... I got go! * runs inside the kitchen*

Katy: DON'T RUN FROM ME, TOMMY JOE! *chases after him*

Kris: *all alone in the room* Really? They leave me to end this? That's just wrong!

*looks at you*

Kris: You can go now! Go jack off or something, I know that's what I'm about do! *reaches into his pants and runs upstairs*


	2. Caught by Tommy again

Adam: AAAAHHHHH!

Jennifer: *on top of Adam, holding his arms above his head* I GOT YOU NOW, YOU SNEAKY MOTHERFUCKER!

Adam: GET OFF!

Jennifer: NOT UNTIL YOU SAY SORRY!

Adam: FOR WHAT?

Jennifer: YOU SCREAMED INTO MY EAR! WITH A BULLHORN!

Adam: FINE, I'M SORRY!

Jennifer: SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT! *begins bouncing up and down on Adam*

Adam: *moans* You're turning me on now! I can't say I'm sorry now!

Jennifer: WHY IS THAT?

Adam: When I'm horny and arguing with the person I'm dating, I say apologies after make-up sex!

Jennifer: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY- Oh, wait. That does make sense!

Adam: See? So... You wanna have make-up sex?

Jennifer: OK! *Kisses Adam deeply*

Adam: ...

Jennifer: ...

Adam: ...

Jennifer: ...

*several minutes later*

Jennifer: *underneath Adam* FUCK! MORE, ADAM!

Adam: As you wish, baby!

*Tommy, Katy and Kris walk in*

Tommy: Hey guy- AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! *falls to the ground, hands over his eyes* MY EYES! I'VE BEEN SCARRED FOR THE REST OF MY GLITTERY LIFE!

Kris&Katy: *staring at them, mouths opened and not saying a word*

Adam&Jennifer: *blushing different shades of red*

Adam: *pulls out of Jennifer, hearing her gasp*

Jennifer: *grabs her clothes and puts them on with Adam*

Kris&Katy: *mouths still open in shock*

Tommy: *curled up in a ball in the corner* I want my mommy!

Adam: Sorry, I thought we locked the door!

Kris: WELL, YOU DIDN'T AND NOW POOR TOMMY IS SCARRED FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE!

Katy: *looks at Tommy* Yea, I'm over him now! I'm leaving! I'll see you guys in 2 or 3 months! *walks out the room*

*Allison comes in*

Allison: What happened to Tommy?

Kris: Adam and Jennifer were fucking and we accidentally walked in on them. Tommy saw them and said he was scarred for the rest of his glittery life.

Adam: We thought we locked the door!

Allison: Well, you didn't and now poor Tommy is scarred!

Jennifer: WE'RE SORRY, OK?

Adam: Oh yea, that reminds me. I'm sorry Jennifer for what I did to you. It was wrong and I should not have done it.

Jennifer: That's OK, Adam. I accept your apology.

Tommy: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME BECOME UNSCARRED!

Adam&Jennifer: WE SAID WE WERE FUCKING-

Tommy: EXACTLY! YOU WERE FUCKING! NOW I'M OFFICIALLY SCARRED FOR THE REST OF MY GLITTERY LIFE!

Adam&Jennifer: JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET OVER IT!

Kris: DON'T YELL AROUND HIM! IT SCARES HIM MORE!

Adam: HE'S 29! HE ACTS LIKE A FUCKING 3 YEAR OLD! HE NEEDS TO GROW THE FUCK UP!

Jennifer: SHUT UP! *walks over to Tommy* Are you OK? *rubs his back slowly*

Tommy: A little. You know there is... one way I can become unscarred.

Jennifer: Really? How?

Tommy: *whispers something in her ear*

Jennifer: *eyes widen* Really? *looks over at Kris* Are you sure? I tried that before I met Adam, and I think therapy would be better!

Tommy: It's either that or I'll remain scarred for the rest of my life!

Jennifer: Fine! *walks over to Kris* Umm, Kris?

Kris: What?

Jennifer: Well, Tommy told me that there is a way for him to become unscarred, but it involves you and some naughty things.

Kris: What are you talking about?

Adam: She's saying that the only way Tommy can go back to normal and stop freaking out when he walks in on people having sex is if he fucks you.

Jennifer: Pretty much!

Kris: HELL NO, HELL NO, WAIT FOR IT... HELL NO!

Jennifer: DO IT OR I'LL... * notices Kris' guitar in the corner* I'll smash your guitar and use the broken wood fragments as wood for a bonfire!

Kris: NO! YOU CAN'T TOUCH KATY!

Adam&Jennifer: Really? You named your guitar 'Katy'?

Kris: I named it 'Katy' because of my wife!

Adam: I thought you both got divorced when she found out you were dating Jennifer behind her back?

Kris: We did! After that, I kept the name so it could remind me of when I loved the real Katy and because of Katy Perry!

Jennifer: Man, you are pathetic! Now, will you fuck Tommy or not?

Kris: FINE! Only because I don't want you to break my guitar. *walks up to Tommy and grabs his hands* We be back in 2 hours maybe!

*Tommy and Kris exit the room*

Allison: *eating a bag of popcorn* Wow.

Adam&Jennifer: AAAAAHHHHHH!

Jennifer: You're still in here?

Adam: I thought you left! And where did you get that bag of popcorn?

Allison: I left the room for a minute so I could get some popcorn to munch on while I watched all of you arguing. You guys just didn't notice me!

Adam: You needed food just to watch us argue?

Allison: Pretty much!

Jennifer: Wow. We argue all the time, so you must have gained alot of weight!

Allison:HURTFUL!

Jennifer: I'm just saying, lay down on the buttery food.

Allison: Fine. *throws bag on the ground*

Jennifer: PICK THAT UP!

Allison:FINE! Just don't yell at me about it!

*30 min. later*

Jennifer: I wonder how Kris is doing with Tommy?

Adam: We can eavesdrop on them and take a little listen to how they're doing!

Jennifer: Sounds fun! Let's go!

*they both run upstairs to Tommy's room*

Jennifer: I think I can here something!

Kris: HARDER!

*they hear the bed creak*

Adam: Wow, they are getting it in!

Jennifer: Shush, I think I can hear Tommy.

Tommy: Dammit Kris, You're tight!

Adam&Jennifer: *giggling softly*

Kris:TOMMY!

Tommy:KRIS!

Jennifer&Adam: *Laughing out loud*

Adam: Wow, now that was awesome!

Jennifer: Man, they seriously were rocking each other's world!

Adam: Come on, let's go before they find out were here!

*Tommy's door swings open, revealing a half-naked Tommy and Kris*

Tommy&Kris: We already do!

Adam&Jennifer: AAAAHHHHHHHH! *Jennifer hops into Adam's arms and holds onto his neck*

Adam:OK, 2 things. 1. We wanted to know how it was going with you two. 2. GET THE HELL OFF OF ME, JENNIFER! *throws Jennifer on the ground*

Jennifer: OWW! *rubs her butt* THAT HURT!

Adam: YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE JUMPED ON ME THEN!

Jennifer: I'm sorry. *stands up and kisses Adam*

Adam: That's OK. *kisses her back*

Jennifer: ...

Adam: ...

Jennifer: ...

Adam: ...

Jennifer: *pulls away and smiles*

Adam: *whispers something in her ear, causing her eyes to widen in excitement*

Jennifer: Hey Tommy, can we use your room for the next... hour maybe?

Tommy: *rolls his eyes* Fine.

Jennifer: Yea!

Tommy: Just give me and Kris a minute to get dressed.

*they walk back in the room and come out 2 minutes later, dressed*

Adam: Good. *grabs Jennifer's arm and pulls her into the room, locking the door behind him*

Tommy: I seriously worry about their relationship. It's just based on sex, arguing, and making out!

Kris: So true! They argue just to have make-up sex, make out just to have sex, and then they just have sex!

Tommy: I know. Anyways, I'm going to go out and get something to eat. I'll be back in 2 hours maybe. *walks down the hallway and leaves Kris alone*

Kris: Seriously, they leave me to end this AGAIN? God, I give up! *walks in his room and slams the door, locking it* 


	3. Adam&Jennifer: Sex Addicts

Jennifer: ADAM! HARDER!

Adam: YOU'RE SO FUCKIN' TIGHT!

*Tommy walks in*

Tommy: Hey guys.

*walks over to his drawer*

Adam: *stops pounding into Jennifer*

Jennifer: TOMMY, DON'T YOU SEE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING?

Tommy: Yeah. Yet don't you know I don't care, just like all those other times.

Adam: Wait, you didn't care all those other times you caught me and Jennifer?

Tommy: Nah, not really. I just needed an excuse to fuck Kris. Thanks by the way. I just can't believe you guys actually thought I was scarred every time I saw you guys fucking!

Jennifer&Adam: *staring at Tommy angrily*

Adam: *pulls out of Jennifer and puts his clothes on*

Jennifer: *does the same* Tommy, are you saying you LIED to me?

Tommy: Pretty much. Why?

Adam: Tommy, I think you should run.

Tommy: Why?

Adam: Jennifer's angry and when she gets angry, she-

Jennifer: AAAAAAHHHHHH! *pounces on Tommy*

Tommy: *underneath Jennifer*

Adam: I told you.

Tommy: SHUT UP AND GET HER OFF OF ME!

Jennifer: DON'T YOU EVER, EVER, EVER LIE TO ME!

Tommy: OK!

Jennifer: I don't think you fully understand me. I said *yanks on Tommy's hair hard* DON'T-

Tommy: OWW!

Jennifer: *slaps Tommy* DON'T INTERRUPT ME DAMMIT! NOW DON'T YOU EVER LIE TO ME EVER AGAIN! GOT IT, RATLIFF?

Tommy: YES,YES! I PROMISE TO NEVER LIE TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING EVER AGAIN!

Jennifer: Good boy. Hey Adam, I think Tommy deserves a little gift from me, do you think he should get it? *begins tapping on her lips and smiling*

Adam: Hmm... Sure. Give him the gift.

Jennifer: Good. *leans down and kisses Tommy*

Tommy: *eyes widen in shock*

Adam: *smirking at Tommy and Jennifer*

*Kris walks in and looks at Tommy and Jennifer*

Kris: Adam, aren't you going to stop your girlfriend?

Adam: No, I allowed her to do this and I'm enjoying it.

Kris: God Adam, you're stupid.

Adam: *picks up a book from off the floor and throws it at Kris' head*

Kris: *falls and holds his head in pain* OWW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?

Adam: Don't call me stupid. I'm very intelligent!

Kris: *mumbling* Whatever your crazy, mixed up mind says.

Adam: What did you just say?

Kris: Um, nothing!

Adam: That's what I thought!

Jennifer&Tommy: *moaning in the kiss*

Adam: *moans a bit, then looks down at the bulge forming in his pants* Um, you guys can stop now.

Jennifer&Tommy:*pulls away*

Jennifer: *moans then looks at Adam's bulge* Hmm, I guess we have another problem we should solve. *walks up to Adam and kisses him deeply*

Tommy: *still lying on the floor, eyes wide and a bulge forming in his pants*

Jennifer: Will you guys go? We need to take care of Adam's obviously BIG problem.

Kris&Tommy: OK.

*Tommy and Kris leave the room*

Jennifer: *looks at you* You go, too. This is going to be a bit too X-rated for you guys.

*Half an hour later*

Allison: Hey, where's Jenny-belle and Addy?

Tommy: Probably still fucking each other senseless.

Allison: I should have guessed that.

Tommy: Why?

Allison: What do they do on a regular daily basis?

Tommy: So true, my good friend.

Kris: *running down stairs, holding his hand over his mouth*

Tommy: *looks at Kris* What's wrong with you, man?

Kris: *takes hand off his mouth and starts throwing up*

Allison&Tommy: GROSS!

Kris: *stops throwing up and starts panting*

Allison: What was all that about?

Kris: *starts talking quickly* Adam and Jennifer orgasmed and some of Adam's cum was spilling out of Jennifer. Adam then began sucking his cum out of her and I just thought it was sickening!

Tommy: That sounds gross! Sucking your own cum out of a girl. What the hell is wrong with dudes these days?

*Jennifer and Adam come downstairs*

Kris: *looks at Jennifer and Adam and starts throwing up again*

Adam: What's up with him?

Allison: He said he saw you sucking your cum out of Jennifer and he thought it was sickening.

Jennifer: He shouldn't have peeked in on us.

Tommy: Then you both should stop having sex all the damn time!

Allison: I bet that they can't even deny sex for a whole week!

Jennifer&Adam: YES WE CAN!

Jennifer: We bet you $300 that we won't not have sex with each other for over a week!

Tommy: 2 weeks!

Adam: 4 weeks!

Tommy&Allison: DEAL! *start dancing around with each other* WE'RE GONNA BE RICH! WE'RE GONNA BE RICH!

Adam: No you're not gonna be rich because we're gonna make it through those four weeks!

Allison: We'll see about that, because it starts today, right now!

Adam&Jennifer: WHAT?

Tommy: That's right! Now you two sex addicts can't have sex for the next 4 weeks!

Allison: I bet you guys won't make it through the first three minutes without running upstairs and fucking each other's brains out!

Jennifer: We can do this, right Adam? *looks over at Adam, who suddenly disappeared* Adam?

Tommy: Where the hell did Adam go?

*they hear Adam moaning and screaming*

Tommy: I guess that answers my question.

Jennifer: God dammit, Adam.

Allison: Adam really needs to keep his mind off of sex.

Jennifer&Tommy: You know that will never happen.

Jennifer: Without sex, some of Adam's songs would be meaningless.

Tommy: And he also wouldn't have most of his fans if he wasn't a sex god.

Allison: OK,OK. I guess Adam doesn't need to keep his mind off of sex. But he needs to stop doing it all the time!

Kris: Hey, where did Adam -

*Adam starts moaning and screaming again*

Kris: Never mind.

Jennifer: Where were you at, Kris?

Kris: I passed out on the floor and you guys didn't notice. Anyways, I'm leaving and I'll be back in an hour.

Tommy&Allison: Yea, we're going to go to before we have to end this.

*Tommy, Kris and Allison leave Jennifer alone*

Jennifer: Really, now I need to end this?

*Adam comes downstairs*

Jennifer: *looks at Adam and runs away* HA,HA! ADAM HAS TO END THIS!

Adam: *looks at me* What is she talking about?

Me: Once you came downstairs, Jennifer realized that the last person here has to end the chapter, so, you're the last one.

Adam: *mumbles* God dammit. *looks at me again* Do I have to end it?

Me: Yes, you do.

Adam: Why can't you end it?

Me: I don't know! It's my story, so I get to choose who ever ends this chapter.

Adam: WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STOP BEING LAZY AND END THIS YOURSELF?

Me: DON'T YELL AT ME! I WILL PUT YOU IN A BOX AND SELL YOU TO MEXICANS!

Adam: NO! THEY MIGHT MAKE ME EAT MEXICAN FOOD! I don't like mexican food!

Me: THEN STOP WHINING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH AND END THE DAMN CHAPTER!

Adam: *crying*

Me: *starts to feel guilty* I'm sorry, Adam! I didn't mean to make you cry. Or threaten to sell you to mexicans.

Adam: *starts crying like a baby*

Me: *sighs* Fine, I'll end this!

Adam: *stops crying and looks up at me* Really?

Me: Yes.

Adam: PEACE THEN, SUCKA! *runs out the room*

Me: *looks at you* OK, you can go now. I'll write more later after I'm done kicking Adam's ass!

Adam: YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THAT!

Me: JUST WATCH! *starts running after him*

Adam: AAAAAHHHHHH!

Me: GET BACK HERE, ADAM!

* * *

OK, I just have to say I have nothing against Mexicans, it's just that I can't stop saying that to people when I get angry and I couldn't resist to not write it down, so if anyone believes that what I said was a little offensive, let me know!


	4. Everyone, meetME!

Guest star of this chapter: ME! (You'll find out my name in the beginning!)

* * *

Adam: YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!

Me: *panting heavily* I'll get you... *starts panting again* Even if it's the last thing I do!

*me and Jennifer bump into each other*

Jennifer: Hey, watch where you're- Wait a minute. You look familiar.

Me: Hello, Jennifer. It's me, Jimmi.

Adam: Did you just say "Gemini"?

Jennifer: No, her name isn't spelled like that. You spell her name J-I-M-M-I!

Adam: So you spell it J-I-M-M-I, but you pronounce it Jimmy?

Me: No, you pronounce it Jimmi, you twit!

Adam: HEY! It's nice for a girl your age to call adults "twit"!

Me: You barely know how old I am!

Adam: ...

Me: ...

Adam: ...

Me: ...

Adam: Touche, little girl, Touche.

Me: Don't call me little! I'm 13!

Adam: Whatever, how do you pronounce your name?

Me: The "mi" in my name sounds like "my", not "me". Now do you get it?

Adam: Yea,I do now.

Jennifer: Anyway, what are you doing here?

Me: I'm the one writing this story! And I was also chasing your boyfriend around.

Adam: SHE THREATENED TO SELL ME TO MEXICANS WHO MIGHT HAVE MADE ME EAT MEXICAN FOOD! AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE MEXICAN FOOD!

Jennifer: You love tacos and that's mexican food.

Adam: It is?

Me: *whispers to Jennifer* Is your boyfriend stupid or something?

Jennifer: *whispers back* No, he just likes to act stupid.

Adam: Are you girls talking about me?

Me: Does it matter?

Adam: Yes!

Me: Then we are! I think you act stupid sometimes in front of your girlfriend just to make her laugh.

Adam: No! I'm not stupid! And I can make my baby laugh without acting stupid!

Me: Whatever. Where's Tommy?

Jennifer: You're the one who made this insane story! You should know where he went.

Me: I might have made this story, but that doesn't mean I know where he went!

*Tommy walks in suddenly*

Tommy: *Looks at me* Who's she?

Me: *completely starstruck* OMG! YOU'RE...YOU'RE... *faints*

Tommy: *catches her before she falls to the ground*

Me: *smiling secretly and thinking to herself* OMG! Tommy Joe Ratliff is touching me! Now all's that's left is to get something from Adam Lambert physically and I'll be the upmost happiest girl in the world! *starts doing a girly scream in her head*

Adam: *looks at me* Are you OK?

Me: *eyes flutter open, meeting Adam's soft, blue ones* I think so.

Jennifer: Are you sure?

Me: I'm sure I'm OK! Anyway, I don't want to continue writing this!

Jennifer&Adam: WHAT?

Me: I don't want to write this anymore! I'm thinking about stoppping and being in the story instead!

Tommy: Wait, don't tell me all this stuff that's been going on because of you?

Me: Yes. Readers of this fanfic seem to enjoy watching you guys act like crazy idiots!

Tommy:But all this is because you want to satisfy your readers?

Me: I already said that, and yes!

Tommy: So, to satisfy people, you made me get beat up by a girl who later makes out with me?

Me: Pretty much! People think its hilarious when dudes get their butts kicked by girls anytime! Especially someone of your size getting beat up by a girl taller than you!

Jennifer: Actually, me and Tommy are the same height, people just don't mistake me for a christmas elf!

Adam: *starts laughing*

Tommy: *throws a pillow at Adam* IT'S NOT FUNNY!

Me: Anyway, I'm going to be involved in this story from now on!

Jennifer: Then who's going to continue writing this insane fanfic were surprisingly involved in?

Me: *looks at her in utterly hilarious confusion* What?

Adam: Who's going to write it if you're going to be involved and stop writing this?

Me: Oh, well, um... *starts thinking hard about it* I don't know!

Adam: Then why would you say you were going to stop writing this fanfic yourself if you don't have a backup author?

Me: I DIDN'T KNOW I NEEDED THAT! So, I'll guess I'll just have to discontinue this and...

Adam&Jennifer: NO!

Me: OK,Then what should I do?

Jennifer: Well, you can always separate yourself from the part of you that really wants to keep writing this from the part that wants to be in this story!

Me: *sarcastically* Wow, that could work if you know... I WAS A FUCKIN' WIZARD!

Jennifer: Don't use that language with me, young lady!

Adam: Doesn't Jessica have a friend who's a full time wizard?

Jennifer: She does! *calls Jessica* Hey Jess! Yea, I'm doing awesome! *eyes widen* No! She didn't! She did? OMG, no way! How? Ooo, I bet he was so pissed to see her...

Adam: JENNIFER!

Jennifer: Huh? Oh yeah! Jessica, can you call Andrew and tell him to come over? OK, thanks!

Adam: WELL?

Jennifer: She said that he'd be here in less than 10 seconds!

*Andrew appears in the middle of a room, along with a cloud of smoke*

Andrew: Hey guys!

Adam: Hey Andrew! Can you do us a favor?

Andrew: OK, what is it?

Jennifer: Can split this girl's writing part of her from the part that wants to stay with us!

Andrew: OK.

*Andrew takes a bottle from his pocket*

Andrew: *hands me the bottle* OK, This is a separation potion!

Me: COOL! *opens the bottle and is about to drink it before Andrew stops me*

Andrew: Be careful about this though! If you drink it too fast, your other half will be extremely evil and try to take over the world!

Me: Really? *starts wondering if I should take this*

Andrew: Naw, just kidding! *starts laughing*

Me: *punches Andrew in the stomach* Don't play with me like that!

Andrew: *clutching his stomach* OK,OK! You can drink it, but do it slowly!

Me: OK! *starts drinking slowly*

*Everyone is looking at me, then a burst of smoke forms around me*

Jennifer: WHAT'S GOING ON?

Adam: SHE'S ON FIRE! CALL THE POLICE, THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! SOMEONE CALL SOMEBODY BEFORE SHE BURNS!

*Tommy goes up and slaps Adam upside his head*

Adam: OW! *rubs his head* WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

Tommy: Stop worrying! She's not on fire! *starts thinking to himself* I hope not!

Me: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Jennifer,Adam,&Tommy: JIMMI!

*I walk out the cloud of smoke*

Me: *rubbing my head, feeling dizzy and lightheaded* What happened?

*My other half walks out the smoke calmly*

My other half: Hey, what's up?

Me: *looks at the other me and faints*

My other half: What's up with her?

Adam: Don't worry! Anyway, it worked!

Me: *becomes concious again* OK! It's awesome that it worked, but what are we going to call the other me?

My other half: Call me Mia!

Everyone: What?

My other half (aka "Mia"): Call me Mia.

Adam: Fine that settles that!

Mia: OK,I'm gonna keep writing!

Me: OK,Can you just stop putting the word "me" everytime I talk?

Mia: OK, Jimmi!

Jimmi (aka me!):Thanks!

*Mia disappears in thn air*

Jimmi: OK, so I'm now involved in this story, so what was I doing before all this happened?

Adam: You were trying to catch me!

Jimmi: Oh yeah! *pounces on Adam*

Adam: AAAHHHHH!

Tommy: HAHA! YOU'RE GETTING BEAT UP BY A 13 YEAR OLD!

Jimmi: SHUT UP, CHRISTMAS ELF! YOU'LL BE NEXT IF YOU DON'T BE QUIET!

Tommy: Know what, I'm getting tired of you people calling me a christmas elf!

Jimmi: Stop complaining!

Tommy: *mumbling under his breath* I'd stop if you people would stop calling a damn christmas elf!

Jimmi: WHAT WAS THAT?

Tommy: NOTHING!

Jimmi: *gets off of Adam and walks up to Tommy, grabbing his collar* You better had said nothing, because if you did, know that I can make sure you'll never be able to have children!

Tommy: *completely terrified* O-Okay.

Jimmi: Good. *kicks him in the groin hard* Just know that I can get people to cut this, *grabs his crotch (did I forget that when she entered this story, she became 26? That would make this scene less... disturbing and awkward)* completely off.

Tommy: *groaning in both pain and pleasure*

Jimmi: *lets go off Tommy's crotch* OK! Now that you guys witnessed that I can get partially crazy when people, like Tommy, *points to Tommy, who is still holding on to his crotch in pain* piss me off, what have you learned to not do to me?

Adam&Jennifer: Not get you angry and/or upset enough to make you want to beat us up.

Jimmi: That's right!

*Kris and Allison come in*

Kris: *looks at Jimmi and smiles* Who's this girl?

Jimmi: I'm Jimmi, but just so you guys don't get mixed up, you can call me MiMi!

Kris: Mmm... *comes up and walks around Jimmi, glancing at her ass* MiMi, do you have a boyfriend?

Jimmi: *blushing uncontrollably* Um... No.

Kris: Mmmm... *grabs her ass and whispers in her ear* You sure?

Jimmi: *groans* Uh, yes.

Kris: *licks at her ear and starts whispers in her ear again* You want one?

Jimmi: *moans* Why?

Kris: I want to be your boyfriend.

Jimmi: Really?

Kris: Mmm, yeah. You're hot.

Adam: Can you guys take all this somewhere else?

*Kris pulls Jimmi upstairs to his room*

Adam: *looks at Jennifer* How long do you think it'll take Kris to find out that she's actually a 13 year old girl?

Jennifer: Maybe not too long!

*They hear Kris and Jimmi moaning*

Adam: Know what, this is the end of this chapter *looks at you* You can leave now! She'll write more of this insane story! *blows a kiss to all of you guys and licks his lips too*

Jennifer: *punches Adam in the rib* Stop being such a flirt! You have a girlfriend, remember?

Adam: OW! I do?

Jennifer: *slaps Adam upside the head* IT'S ME, YOU IDIOT!

Adam: *Rubs his head* OW! OK, OK! I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE THESE FANGIRLS HAPPY!

Jennifer: FORGET IT! We'll talk about this while the fangirls are waiting for her to write more! *looks at you* OK, now you can go. *waits a minute and notices you guys are still here* Um, I said go! *grabs Andrew's wand and makes the chapter end magically*


	5. Jennifer goes to jail, then gets engaged

Jennifer: Adam, how long have they both been up there?

Adam: *looks at his watch* What time did they go upstairs?

Jennifer: They went up at 2:01.

Adam: Well, it's 10:01, so they've been up there for about 8 hours.

Jennifer: DAAAAMMMNNN!

Adam: My thoughts exactly.

*Kris and Jimmi come downstairs*

Adam: *looks at them* Hey guys, how's it going?

Kris: *looks at Jimmi* Mmm, sexy! *kisses her neck*

Jimmi: *moaning*

Jennifer: Know what, Adam, I think I'm going to go to bed, so I guess I'll see you guys in the morning!

*Jennifer runs upstairs*

Adam: Yea, I'm going to bed too. Night. *yawns and goes upstairs to his room*

*THE NEXT MORNING*

Adam: Hey Jimmi.

Jimmi: Good morning, Adam. How are you, sweetie?

Adam: Fine, how 'bout you?

Jimmi: Awesome.

Adam: Hey where's Jennifer?

Jimmi: She left earlier and she didn't say where she was going.

Adam: Oh.

*Adam's phone begins to ring*

Adam: *picks up his phone* Hello?

Jennifer: HELP ADAM! I GOT BOOKED!

Adam: *eyes widen* WHAT!

Jennifer: I GOT BOOKED, LOCKED UP, I'M IN JAIL!

Adam: HOW?

Jennifer: I DON'T KNOW, BUT I THINK THEY MISTAKED ME FOR A DUDE!

Adam: Why do you say that?

Jennifer: They put me in a cell full of dudes! And not just any dudes, I mean prison dudes!

Adam: NO!

Jennifer: HELP ADAM! There is a deranged crackhead looking at me with a strange look!

Adam: OK, I'M ON MY WAY!

Jennifer: DON'T HANG UP!

Adam: *takes finger off the end button and starts laughing nervously* Why would I do that?

Jennifer: ADAM! I'M SCARED! THESE GUYS ARE LOOKING AT ME STRANGE!

Adam: Calm down!

Jimmi: What's wrong?

Adam: JENNIFER'S IN JAIL! AND NOT THE WOMAN JAIL, THE MAN JAIL, THE ONE YOU GET RAPED IN!

*Everyone comes downstairs*

Kris: What's with all the screaming?

Adam: JENNIFER'S IN MAN PRISON!

Tommy: What, dude?

Jimmi: JENNIFER'S IN JAIL! AND SHE'S NOT IN WOMAN JAIL, SHE'S IN DUDE JAIL!

*everyone's jaw drops in shock*

Allison: Then we have to go get her!

Jennifer: Adam, put me on speaker phone now!

*Adam does as told*

Jennifer: *on speakerphone* Guys!

Tommy: JENNIFER, HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET BOOKED?

Jennifer: I don't know! I was at Hot Topic and that's when the police came in and they shouted "THERE HE IS! GET HIM AND ARREST HIM!" I then turned and saw them running towards me. I started running away, but I tripped on my heel and fell. They then put handcuffs on me and said "We're putting you in jail sonny!" And I was all like "Why? I'm a girl, I'm not the man you're looking for!" And they said "Oh you are! You're Don Richardson, a master thief who disguised himself as a girl so he wouldn't get caught!" And that's when they brought me to where I am now!

Adam: Jennifer, we're coming to bail you out! How much is your bail anyway?

Jennifer: 8,000 dollars.

Adam: OK! We're on our way!

Jennifer: DON'T HANG UP!

Adam: *takes finger off the end button again* Why?

Jennifer: This is my only phone call!

Adam: OK! I won't hang up! Guys, go get in the car!

Tommy: But there isn't enough room for all of us!

Kris: Some of you guys can get in mine!

Jimmi: I'll ride with Kris, and Tommy, you ride with Adam!

Tommy: OK!

Adam: COME ON GUYS!

Everyone: OK, OK! WE'RE COMING!

*They arrive at the jail Jennifer's in*

Adam: *to the police officer* Excuse me?

Police officer: *pretends to not hear him*

Adam: Um, excuse me?

Police officer: *pretends to not hear him again*

Adam: FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, EXCUSE ME?

Police officer: *pretends to not hear him again*

Adam: *grabs onto the police man's collar* LISTEN, MOTHERFUCKER! I'M HERE TO BAIL OUT MY GIRLFRIEND, NOW WILL YOU PLEASE HELP US?

Police officer: OK, OK! Take it easy, sir! We didn't have any girls come in except for Don Richardson disguised as a female.

Adam: Well, that wasn't Don Richardson. That woman back there was wrongly accused!

Police Officer: Oh yeah? Prove it!

Adam: OK, we can prove if you let her out!

Police Officer: OK, fine! Right this way, sir!

*takes all of them to the back where Jennifer is conversating with some guys*

Adam: JENNIFER!

Jennifer: ADAM!

Guy in the jail cell with Jennifer: Who's this, Miss Jennifer?

Jennifer: Oh, sorry, Blade! Let me introduce you to my boyfriend, Adam Lambert!

Blade: Really?

Adam: Yeah!

Blade: Prove it. We've had a lot of celebrity and social impostors in here!

Adam: OK, the only to prove I'm me is the way I sing! *starts singing "Sleepwalker"*

Blade: WOW! YOU ARE ADAM LAMBERT!

Adam: The one and only! *looks around* I hope!

Jennifer: Adam, did you bail me out?

Adam: We can't bail you out until we can prove to this officer that you're actually a girl!

Jennifer: Really? I think there is one way I can make him know I'm actually a girl!

Everyone: How?

Jennifer: Like this! *lifts up the skirt shes wearing*

Allison,Kris,Tommy&Blade: AAAHHHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES!

Police Officer: Oh, so sorry, miss! *unlocks the cage*

Jennifer: *puts her skirt back down and walks out the cell* Come on guys, let's go home!

*Everyone is just standing there with there mouths open in shock and the boys start to grow bulges in their pants*

Jennifer: Guys?

*Back at home*

Adam: OK, Jennifer, If you ever need to prove to anyone that you're a girl again, can you please do it so almost everyone doesn't come home looking like this? *points to Tommy, who's mouth was still open in shock, not blinking at all*

Jennifer: Oop, sorry!

Adam: That's OK! Anyway, after that little scene, I think everybody needs something good so they can forget about that!

Jennifer: Like what?

Adam: WHO WANTS ICE CREAM AND CAKE?

Everyone else: I DO, I DO, I DO!

*15 minutes later*

Tommy: *stuffing ice cream and cake in his mouth*

Jimmi: Eww, Tommy! Stop eating like a pig!

Tommy: I DON'T EAT LIKE A PIG! * bits of cake flies out his mouth and lands on Jimmi's face*

Jimmi: *eyes and mouth open on shock* DID YOU JUST SPIT CAKE AT ME?

Tommy: NO!

Jimmi: *gets angry and throws cake at Tommy*

Tommy: *face covered in cake* AAAHHHHH!

Adam&Jennifer: *laughing uncontrollably*

Tommy: *throws cake at both of them*

Jennifer: AAAHHHH! MY HAIR!

*They then engage in a food fight, and when it's over 20 minutes later, everyone is covered in cake and ice cream, laughing*

Jennifer: THAT WAS AWESOME!

Adam: I know!

Tommy: I'm going to go wash this cake out my hair!'

Jimmi: I'm coming in after you!

Kris: *grabbing Jimmi's ass again* I'm coming in with you, Jimmi!

Jimmi: *her face turning different shades of red*

Adam: *looking at Jennifer* Hey Jen?

Jennifer: Yea, babe?

Adam: I want to ask you something important.

Jennifer: What is it?

Adam: *gets down on one knee and pulls out a small black box*

Jennifer: *gasps* ADAM!

Adam: *opens it and smiles* Jennifer, will you marry me?

Jennifer: *crying tears of joy* YES, ADAM, I'LL MARRY YOU! *pulls Adam up and kisses him*

Everyone: AWW!

*Allison comes downstairs*

Allison: Why is everyone just staring at Jennifer and Adam kissing?

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! *jumps on Jennifer and Adam*

Jennifer: *holding both Kris and Tommy*

Adam: *holding Jimmi*

Jennfifer&Adam: *throws them off of them*

Jennifer: Well, Allison, if you must know, Adam just proposed to me!

Allison: Aw!

Jennifer: I KNOW! I'M GETTING MARRIED! AAAAHHHHHH! *kisses Adam deeply*

Adam: *kisses her back*

Allison: *goes and pulls them apart* Guys, we don't want your kissing to turn into sex, so you guys need to stop!

Jennifer&Adam: *glaring daggers at Allison*

Adam: I'M EXTREMELY HORNY! I NEED TO HAVE SEX WITH HER! *starts reaching for Jennifer*

Jennifer: *smacks Adam's hand away* NO! UNLESS YOU WANT THEM TO WIN THIS BET, YOU NEED TO BE STRONG!

Adam: *whimpers* I DON'T WANT TO BE STRONG! I WANT TO GET LAID, LIKE NOW!

Jennifer: *goes up to Adam and slaps him, grabbing him by his collar* STOP WHINING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH AND BE STRONG, DAMMIT!

Adam: *rubbing the spot Jennifer hit him at* Ow. OK,OK. I'll stop, can I just...

Jennifer: Just what?

Adam: Can I just go jack off?

Jennifer: FINE! *lets go of Adam's collar*

Adam: *runs upstairs to the bathroom, locking the door once he's inside*

Jennifer: *starts shaking her head* SMH!

Allison,Kris&Tommy: What?

Jimmi: She said "Shaking my head" in text language unless you guys didn't know that!

Allison,Kris&Tommy: *laughing nervously* We knew that!

Jimmi: *rolls her eyes* Whatever!

Jennifer: *looks at her ring* THis ring is SOOOOOOO beautiful!

Jimmi: *looks at it with her* It really is! *pulls out 10 one-hundred dollar bills* I'll pay you 1,000 for it!

Jennifer: *gasps* NO! ADAM BOUGHT THIS FOR ME AND I'M NOT GOING JUST SELL IT!

Jimmi: Fine! *pulls out a box of girl scout cookies* I'll throw in this box of girl scouts cookies!

Jennifer: DEAL! *gives her the ring* YEA! I GOT 1,000 DOLLARS AND A BOX OF THIN MINTS!

Allison,Kris&Tommy: *shaking their heads*

*Adam runs down the steps, his hand still in his pants, and looks at Jennifer jumping up and down with joy and her not wearing his ring*

Adam: JENNIFER, WHERE THE HELL IS THE RING I GAVE YOU!

Jennifer: *stops jumping up and down* Jimmi has it.

Adam: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY JIMMI HAS IT?

Jennifer: Well, Jimmi said she'd pay 1,000 dollars for this ring, but I said no. She then pulled out a box of thin mints and said she give me these too! I couldn't resist, so I sold her the ring.

Adam: *starts saying random words* JENNIFER, WHY, AND, SIXTY THOUSAND! * faints*

Jennifer: *to Allison* Is this a good thing?

Allison: Yes and no.

Jennifer: Why?

Allison: Yes because Adam can finally stop yelling, and no because you just sold Adam's ring to a sneaky 26 year old!

Jennifer: *biting her lip* So, Adam is now officially pissed at me because I sold the ring he gave to me for a thousand dollars and a stupid box of thin mints!

Jimmi: Poor thing! *walks over and puts her arm around her shoulder* I think I can get you a hook up with an older friend of mine!

*Everyone glares daggers at Jimmi*

Jimmi: WHAT? I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP HER! GOD, YOU PEOPLE ARE HARD TO PLEASE! *goes upstairs to Kris' room and slams the door behind her*

Kris: I'm going to go make sure she's OK! *runs upstairs to his room and slams the door behind him*

*Jennifer notices Adam's ring on the floor, picks it up and slips it on her finger before Adam becomes concious again*

Adam: Uh, what happened?

Jennifer: You passed out when I told you no when you tried to propose to me. I only was playing with you and you thought I meant it, and you then began to say random words and then you passed out.

Adam: Oh. Then why is my hand in my pants then?

Jennifer: You were jacking off in your sleep again!

Adam: Not again!

Jennifer: Well, I think this chapter is over! *looks at you* OK, Everyone needs to go take a shower and have a small nap, so when we wake up, or whenever she decides to starts writing, we promise to make you guys laugh again! Right, Adam? *looks at Adam, who is asleep on the ground* Well, whatever! I'm going to take Adam upstairs and put him in his bed, so I guess I'll see you all later! 


	6. The bet is off!

Allison: *on the phone* So you think you might be able to come over? *pause* After you get done practicing for that gymnastics competition? *pause* And after karate practice? *long pause* And after you style your hair? *short pause* HOW MUCH STUFF DO YOU HAVE TO DO? *pause* Just come after your karate lessons, ok? *very short pause* AWESOME! Can't wait for you to meet my friends! *pause* ok, bye! *hangs up*

Jennifer: *looking at Allison* Who was that?

Allison: *notices Jennifer was downstairs* AAAAAHHHHHH! JENNIFER, DIDN'T WE HAVE A TALK ABOUT LETTING PEOPLE KNOW YOU'RE IN OR COMING INTO A ROOM!

Jennifer: No talk I can remember. Did we have this "talk" last week?

Allison: YES!

Jennifer: That's why I don't remember.

Allison: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

Jennifer: Last week, me and Adam were allowed to have sex. So I guess if you were turned in the other direction talking, me and Adam were making out and we made our way upstairs without you noticing and we fucked each other brain's out.

Allison: *mumbles under her breath* God dammit! I knew we should've made that deal last week.

Jennifer: Anyway, who was that on the phone?

Allison: My friend, Sillabub.

Jennifer: She got a nickname?

Allison: Silla. She's really cool! You guys would love her!

Jennifer: Uh-huh. So, she coming over?

Allison: Yea, she was so stoked to know that she was going to meet you guys! She could've came now, but her week is always SO busy!

Jennifer: Uh-huh.

Allison: Are you even paying attention?

Jennifer: Not really.

Allison: Do you even pay attention to anything- *stops when she notices Jennifer is asleep* Never mind.

*2 HOURS LATER*

Jennifer: *still asleep*

Allison: *listening to her iPod, singing Adam's "Whatya Want From Me" out loud* SO-OOOOHHH, JUST DON'T GIVE UP, I'M WORKING IT OUT!

*Jennifer wakes up, pissed because her beauty rest was interrupted by Allison's singing*

Jennifer: ALLISON, SHUT THE HELL UP!

Allison: *still singing because she turned it up louder, but now she's singing Avril Lavigne's "What The Hell"* ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN GOOD BUT NOW, OH OH OH, I'M THINKING WHAT THE HELL!

Jennifer: *starts screaming*

Adam: *from upstairs* JENNIFER, WHAT THE HELL!

Jennifer: SHUT UP, ADAM!

Adam: YOU SHUT UP!

Jennifer: ADAM, YOU BETTER BE QUIET BEFORE I HAVE TO COME UP THERE!

*someone knocks on the door*

Allison: *takes off her headphones* I'LL GET IT!

*runs and answers the door*

Allison: SILLABUB!

Sillabub: ALLISON!

Jennifer: ADAM, IF YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP SAYING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO COME DOWN HERE AND MAKE ME SHUT UP, THEN COME UP HERE AND DO IT!

*Adam is downstairs in under 30 seconds, arguing with Jennifer again*

Jennifer: COME ON, ADAM! MAKE ME BE QUIET!

Adam: FUCK YOU, JENNIFER!

Jennifer: *pounces on Adam and starts hitting him*

Adam: OW! STOP BEFORE I HAVE TO START HITTING YOU!

Jennifer: HIT ME THEN, PUSSY!

Adam: *punches Jennifer in the stomach*

*45 minutes later, the police have arrived*

Police Officer: Miss Iraheta, do you know what happened?

Allison: Well, I was singing loud and Jennifer said something to me but I didn't hear her because my musuc was turned up too loud.

Police Officer: What song were you listening to, miss?

Allison: Adam's "Whatya Want From Me".

Police Officer: Really, I love that song!

Allison: Me too!

Police Officer: Anyway, you were listening to music that was too loud...

Allison: And Jennifer put her head into a pillow and I guess Adam begaen yelling at her because she started yelling upstairs. I had turned my music down when I thought I heard someone knocking on the door. When I answered it, Adam had started arguing with her fiercely. Adam had told Jennifer that if she didn't shut he was going to have to make her shut up. Jennifer said he should come down and make her shut up ans Adam came downstais after that. That's when they got in each other's face and Jennifer started hitting Adam and Adam begged her to stop hitting him because it hurted, *is interrupted by the police officer because he started laughing a bit*

Adam: *a cast on his arm and a black eye* DON'T LAUGH, IT'S NOT FUNNY!

Allison: Anyway, Jennifer told Adam to hit her and Adam punched her in the stomach and then they just started fighting.

Jennifer: *a cast on her arm and leg, a black eye and a bandage wrapped around her head* ADAM REALLY DIDN'T HAVE TO PUNCH ME IN THE STOMACH!

Adam: STOP WHINING, JENNIFER!

Jennifer: I DON'T HAVE TO! ANYWAY, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF IT WASN'T FOR TOMMY AND ALLISON!

Police Officer: Is that true, Miss Iraheta?

Jennifer: HELL YEAH, IT'S TRUE! SHE WON'T LET ME AND ADAM HAVE SEX, SO I'VE BECOME COMPLETELY PARANOID AND FRUSTRATED DUE TO MY COMPLETE LACK OF SEX!

Police Officer: Miss Iraheta, why aren't they allowed to have sex?

Allison: *laughing nervously* Well, Me and Tommy said that they weren't allowed to have sex for a couple of weeks.

Police Officer: Miss Iraheta, sex is very important. If a couple doesn't have it for more than 24 hours, they end up like *looks at Adam and Jennifer* well, this. So, from now on, you can't make bets saying thay aren't allowed to have sex!

Allison: Yes Officer.

Police Officer: Good, now I'm going to leave, but please, make sure I don't have to come back unless it's a REAL emergency that has nothing to do with people fighting because of a silly bet!

Allison: OK.

*the police leave*

Jennifer: I really need to get out of this cast.

Adam: How?

Jennifer: I'm a vampire, and my breed can heal itself.

Adam: How?

Jennifer: Like this. *close her eyes and her black eye and all off her bandages and casts disappear*

Adam&Allison: Cool!

Jennifer: I can get Andrew to heal you.

Adam: OK.

*Two hours later*

Jennifer&Adam: *waving* Thanks, Andrew! We'll see you later.

Andrew: OK, guys! Bye!

Jennifer&Adam: *looks at Allison*

Allison: What?

Jennifer: Allison, I think you owe us an apology!

Allison: For what?

Adam: You made us get into a fight because we couldn't have sex.

Allison: IT WAS TOMMY'S FAULT TOO!

Jennifer: That is true. TOMMY, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!

*Tommy runs downstairs*

Tommy: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?

Jennifer: You owe me and Adam an apology!

Tommy: Why do I need to apologize to you guys?

Adam: Me and Jennifer had a fight only because we weren't allowed to have sex. You and Allison made up this bet, so you now owe us an apology.

Tommy&Allison: But-

Jennifer: No if's, and's, or but's about it, now apologize!

Tommy&Allison: Fine. We're really sorry that we made a bet that made you both get into a fight. We only did it so we can get some money.

Jennifer&Adam: We accept your- Wait, did you say you made the bet to get money?

Tommy&Allison: Well, we gotta go, so, bye! *run out the room quickly*

Adam: They tricked us!

Jennifer: Oh well. We don't have to worry about that bet anymore.

Adam: That is true. *looks at Jennifer and smiles*

Jennifer: *kisses Adam deeply*

Adam: ...

Jennifer: ...

Adam: ...

Jennifer: ...

Adam: ...

Jennifer: ...

Adam: ...

Jennifer: *pulls away* Let's take this upstairs.

Adam: Um, okay.

*An hour and a half*

Jennifer&Adam: *panting heavily*

Jennifer: *turns and looks at Adam* I love you.

Adam: *smiles at her words* I love you too.

Jennifer: *snuggles up to Adam and falls asleep*

Adam: *sighs and closes his eyes, drifting off to sleep as well*

*3 HOURS LATER*

Jennifer: *chasing Tommy* TOMMY, GIVE IT BACK!

Tommy: YOU HAVE TO CATCH ME IF YOU WANT IT BACK! *runs faster with something in his hand*

Adam: Jennifer, why are you chasing Tommy?

Jennifer: HE TOOK MY VIBRATOR AND WON'T GIVE IT BACK!

Adam: Why does he have it anyway?

Jennifer: He was looking for his blanket in my drawer and I told him that I had it. He then held up my vibrator and said unless I gave him his blanket he wouldn't give it back.

Tommy: Now give it BACK!

Jennifer: NOT UNTIL YOU GIVE ME MY VIBRATOR BACK!

Tommy: FINE! *throws her vibrator at her*

Jennifer: *throws his blanket to him and grabs her vibrator*

Tommy: *grabs his blanket* Thank you.

Adam: All that chasing just for a vibrator?

Jennifer: Yup. I really love this vibrator.

*Allison and her friend,Sillabub come downstairs*

Allison: And she completely freaked out about it!

Sillabub: Really? I really wouldn't freak out that much about it!

Allison: I know, right! Who freaks out because they run out of blue hair dye?

Jennifer: What are you two talking about?

Adam: Or should we ask who?

Allison&Sillabub: We aren't talking about Jennifer!

Adam: We didn't say Jennifer's name!

Allison: *looks at her wrist* Oh, look at the time! Me and Silla must be going now! *grabs Silla's hand and runs out the room*

Jennifer: OH DON'T YOU RUN FROM ME! *runs after them, leaving Adam alone*

Adam: *looks at you* OK, I need to get Jennifer to stop chasing people around, so I'll see all of you later! *runs after Jennifer, Allison, and Sillabub*


	7. New Residents in the house

I would like to say that I'm sorry I haven't updated this for like a year, but I haven't had decent internet access, so here's another installment of An Untitled Jadam Parody Fanfic!

* * *

Adam: JENNIFER! STOP CHASING PEOPLE!

Jennifer: NOT UNTIL THEY TELL ME WHO THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT! *runs faster, using her vampire speed*

Allison&Silla: WE WERE TALKING ABOUT YOU! WE'RE SORRY!

Jennifer: OK. That's all you really had to say. *stops running*

Adam: WHAT? *bumps into Jennifer*

Jennifer: *turns and looks down at him* Yes, Adam?

Adam: *stands up and begins to growl*

*Jimmi comes downstairs, wearing a hoodie and looking down*

Adam: *stops growling and looks at her* Why are you wearing a hoodie?

Jimmi: Why are you asking stupid questions all the time?

Adam: Well...

Jimmi: *sighs* Don't even attempt to answer that.

*There is a knock at the door*

Jimmi: I'll get it.

Jennifer: OK.

Jimmi: *walks over to the door and opens it* Hello?

Mystery People at the door: Hi!

Jimmi: *gasps then slams the door* Oh. My. Glitter.

Jennifer: Who was at the door?

Jimmi:Chris Colfer, Darren Criss, and Brendon Urie.

Adam: Those names sound familiar... *makes an adorable thinking face*

Jennifer: Adam, we talked about this. Two of those boys are my ex boyfriends.

Jimmi: Please don't tell me you fucked Chris Colfer.

Jennifer: I didn't. I tried, though. I tried so hard, but he wouldn't even let me kiss him. He made sure I didn't try to attempt rape towards him.

Adam: You tried to rape him?

Jennifer: We'll talk about that later. Anyway, open the door and let them in.

Jimmi: WHAT? I can't let them in when I look like this! *turns and pulls hoodie off*

Everyone: AAAAHHHHH! *Adam jumps into Jennifer's arms*

Jimmi: *face covered in scratches and dried blood* Jennifer, how come you never mentioned that you had a a snake, two VERY hungry cats, and a komodo dragon in your room?

Jennifer: *scratching the back of her head, laughing nervously* I guess it never came up... *nervously laughing more*

Jimmi: Well, it should have, because now, your cats think that I'm a fucking scratching post!

Jennifer: Well, you shouldn't have went into my room. Didn't you read the sign? *holds up sign towards Jimmi*

Jimmi: *starts reading the sign* "Do Not Enter Without Written Permission From The Owner, Jennifer Renee Williams." *looks up at Jennifer* Don't you think you should have put this on your door so no one would come in your room?

Jennifer: *looks at her confused* I... *looks at the sign* Dammit.

Jimmi: *frustrated sigh* Any way, somebody better find a way to fix my face soon, or I will have to result to a much darker approach... *pulls out a knife from inside her pocket*

Adam: I'LL HELP! *bounces over to Jimmi*

Jimmi: *another frustrated sigh* Fine. Let's go, you little weirdo! *grabs Adam's arm and drags him up the stairs*

Jennifer: I'll... go open the door. *walks over to the door and opens it*

Darren: Aloha! *walks inside*

Brendon: Hey, Jennifer. *gives her a hug then walks inside and stands next to Darren*

Jennifer: *smiling brightly* Hey guys. *looks towards Chris and the smile fades* Christopher.

Chris: Jennifer.

Jennifer: Lovely to see you again.

Chris: That's for one of us. *walks inside, pushing her aside* Now, where's the little one you wanted us to meet?

Darren: Yea, I would really lo- *is tackled by Allison and Silla*

Brendon: Darren! Are you okay?

Darren: *underneath Allison and Silla* DO I LOOK O-FUCKING-KAY, DICKWAD?

Chris: Well, by the looks of it, you look fan-fucking-tastic! *laughing at him*

Darren: HELP ME, YOU ASSHOLES!

Brendon: Fine. *grabs his arm and pulls hard* Damn, these girls are strong!

Darren: *starts to cry like a little baby* HELP! I DON'T WANT TO BE TRAPPED UNDERNEATH TEENAGE GIRLS!

Chris: *muttering under his breath* You should have said that in high school...

Darren: WAIT A MINUTE!

*everyone stops and Darren looks over at-*

Darren: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, CHRIS?

Writer: Um, hello?

Darren: *looks up at the writer* What the fuck do you want?

Writer: Ok, first of all, don't curse at me, because I will come down there and fuck you up. Second, you don't just go and interrupt me when I'm trying to write a storyline!

Brendon: Oooo, Darren got in trouble with the writer!

Darren: *looks over at Brendon* One more peep, and I'll be the one to fuck you up, got it?

Writer: Darren, I swear, if you don't let me finish, I'm making those girls stay on you.

Darren: *huffs* Fine.

Writer: Good. Now, if you interrupt once more, you might wake up inside a trash bag.

Darren: *shocked gasp* HURTFUL!

Writer: I don't give a fuck! Now, let me continue writing, because if I go any further with you, I might end up having to kick somebody's ass.

*Writer disappears, leaving everyone on confusion*

Chris: OK, I really hope that I'm not the only one that thinks that was fucking...*is interrupted by Brendon*

Brendon: Strange?

Chris: Wha-No! That was fucking HILARIOUS! *starts laughing*

Darren: *mocking him angrily* OH, HA HA HA! That's really funny, now, COME AND HELP ME YOU ASSHOLE!

Chris: *laughing harder* Nah, I'm fine, but I'm going to go get something to eat. *walks to the kitchen*

Darren: *shouting words at him* YOU WORTHLESS MOTHERFUCKER, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE AND HELP ME OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL - *he's cut off because I cut to the next scene*

*Meanwhile, in Adam's room*

Adam: And...there! All better! *holds up mirror*

Jimmi: Um, Adam...

Adam: Mmmm...?

Jimmi: My face is over here...

Adam: *looks at her, then at the mirror he's holding up to his face* Oh...yea. Here ya go.

Jimmi: *takes it* Well, it looks better. Thanks, Adam.

Adam: No prob, hun. Now, go, because I can smell hair gel, and it's definitely not me.

Jimmi: OOOH! Darren is here! Thanks! See ya! *grabs Adam and kisses him deeply before running out the room*

Adam: *eyes wide, shocked* What the...?

*Kitchen, 2 minutes later*

Brendon: I wonder if Darren is still trapped.

Chris: *eating a sandwich and glancing at him* And if he is?

Brendon: I'm just saying...

*Jimmi enters, dragging Darren behind her*

Jimmi: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU JUST DID!

Darren: I'M SORRY! HELP! *crying like a little bitch*

Brendon: *looking at them, eyes wide in suprise* Should we help him?

Chris: No.

Brendon: But, she's trying to put him in the oven!

Chris: We'll help once I'm finished my sandwich.

Darren: YOU GUYS ARE NO HELP! *bites Jimmi's hand, HARD)

Jimmi: AAAAAHHHHHHH! *lets go and begins to hold her own hand* TITTY FUCKING SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING BITCH! THAT HURT!

Darren: Don't try and bake me then! I don't taste good!

Chris: *from inside the fridge, where he went to go grab a diet coke* He's not lying.

Jimmi: How the fuck would you know?

Chris: I bit him so hard once, I ripped off skin and meat. It tasted horrible.

Brendon: OK, I'm really confused right now...

Jimmi: You know what, fuck it. *looks at you* We'll be right back after I explain the concept. See ya in the next chapter.

Chris: Chapter of what?

Jimmi: *sighs frustratingly* This is gonna take a while...


	8. Strange and WEIRD things happen

**Warning: People getting beat up by animals and a tame gay sex scene. Enjoy**

* * *

Jimmi: And that's why we are in a chapter, and not in real life.

Chris: *stares blankly* OK, that's just fucking trippy...But that means I can do anything, correct?

Jimmi: No, you have to discuss it with Mia, the writer.

Chris: *laughs hysterically*

Jimmi: *glares at him* What is so funny?

Brendon: Darren got cursed out by Mia for interrupting her while she was trying to narrate.

Chris:*laughing more, tears coming out of his eyes* It...was...so...HILARIOUS! *laughs and falls to the floor, rolling around*

Darren: IT WAS NOT, YOU ASS! *jumps on him and starts hitting him*

Jimmi: *shakes head* What the fuck is wrong with my friends?

Brendon: No clue. Wanna go upstairs and annoy Adam?

Jimmi: *turns to him and sighs* Fuck Yeah! *grabs his hand and starts to run*

Chris: *trying to block Darren's punches* COME HELP ME, YOU FUCKS!

Brendon: We'll help when we're finished. Peace, bitch! *flips him off and runs out the kitchen with Jimmi*

Chris: *crying* Why!?

Darren: *stops hitting him and looks at him sadly* Why are you crying, Chris?

Chris:*wiping his eyes* Because your hits hurt! And no one would help me.

Darren: *placing his hand on top of Chris' and scooting closer to him* I'm sorry that I made you feel this way, Chris. I really am.

Chris: *looks up at Darren and smiles, resting his head on his shoulder* It's okay. We've been through worse, right? *laughs*

Darren: *smiles and looks at Chris* I...I love you, Chris.

Chris: I love you, too, Darren. *smiles and looks into his eyes*

Darren: *leans forward and kisses Chris*

*I cut to next scene, because they start to get out of hand and start to have sex*

Jimmi: OH ADAM! COME, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!

Brendon: *giggles beside her before he hears something fall in Jennifer's room* Psst...in there. *points to Jennifer's room*

Jimmi:*giggles, then starts to talk loudly as she and Brendon walks over to the door* Well, I guess we'll never find Adam. I guess we'll have to keep...*opens the door quickly* LOOKING!

*Jennifer's animals attack both her and Brendon*

Jimmi&Brendon: AAAAAHHHHH! HELP!

*hissing, scratching, biting*

*meanwhile, in the kitchen*

Chris: *gripping Darren's shoulders* Fuck...harder...mmmm... *moans and kisses Darren*

Darren: God, Chris, how are you so tight?

*the door opens, Jennifer, Allison and Silla come in*

Jennifer: So, I can't tell or he'll freak out, like- *notices Darren and Chris fucking against the kitchen counter* HOLY FUCKING GRILLED CHEESUS, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!? *covers her eyes*

Allison: *pulls out phone and tries to take a picture* I've got to tweet about this.

Chris: Do it, and I'll fucking rip you to shreds...Fuck, right there, god, yes! *moans*

Silla: *covering her eyes* AAAAAHHHHH!

Darren: Just get the fuck out, because I'm not stopping for any damn thing...

Jennifer: Just turn around girls, let's get the fuck out of here!

*they run out of the kitchen*

Chris: *shrugs his shoulders and moans louder* Darren, I'm so close...FUCK!

Darren: Come for me, baby...

Chris: *arches his back and moans as he comes* FUCK! DARREN!

*Cuts to the next scene because I'm sure I went too far with that scene*

Adam: Lalalala...lalalalalaaaaaaa! *hears screaming coming from Jennifer's room* Jenny, baby, are you okay? *walks to the door and looks inside*

Jimmi&Brendon: *looks at him* HELP!

Adam: OK! *grabs them but ends up being attack by the komodo dragon* FUCK, OUCH! AAAAAHHHHH! HELP US!

*next scene, because everyone's getting scarred, emotional and physically*

Jennifer: Hey, where is everyone?

*Kris and Tommy come downstairs*

Tommy: Hey, Jennifer, I think Adam's getting killed in your room.

Jennifer: *looks at him confused* What?!

Kris: Yea, and I think I heard Jimmi, too. Sounds like there was something hissing at them and biting them.

*silence, except for Darren and Chris's distant moans from inside the kitchen*

Darren: Oh, get used to it, Mia!

Writer: Watch your tone with me, Darren or I'll cut you.

Jennifer: Excuse me, we _were_ in the middle of a scene. Can you come back to us?

*comes back to Jennifer because I don't feel like having to her bitch about this*

Jennifer: HEY!

*oh, shut the hell up and go on*

Jennifer: *ignores that and gasps* Guys, we have to go help them! They're getting attacked by my pets!

*Everyone runs upstairs except Kris runs upstairs, because I'm making him end the chapter*

Kris: Fuck you, Mia.

Writer: Don't make me fuck you up.

Kris: *huffs* Fine. *looks at you* You can go, because I don't have much to say. Bye. *walks away*

Writer: *sarcastic* Wow, what a great ending.


	9. A Rescue and The Change of Chris Colfer

p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Adam, JimmiBrendon: HELP US!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Jennifer: Come on everyone! Don't you hear them!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Kris: *irritated* Bitch, we hear them. No one wants to hear you sound like Dora the Explorer./p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Jennifer: *gasps* Hurtful!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Tommy: Jennifer, can we just go on?!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Jennifer: *nods excitedly, causing Kris to growl at her peppy attitude* Onward!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"*Meanwhile, in the kitchen*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Chris: *laying on top of Darren, panting heavily* Well...that was fun./p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: *staring up at the ceiling* I agree. Umm...didn't the three musketeers need our help?/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Chris: *laughs* I guess. They said something about Jimmi, the douchebag Brendon, and the uppity male diva Adam getting attacked by some animals./p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren:...you wanna go watch it?/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Chris: *looks at Darren and smiles*Fuck yeah! But...*looks down* we should get dressed first./p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: Oh...OH! Yea, lets get dressed before Mia gets ideas again. *shivers in terror*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Writer: You have 60 seconds to get dressed before I give one of you a bp./p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: *confused* what the fuck is a bp?/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Chris: *whispers into his ear* It means boypussy./p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: GROSS! Hurry! *starts dressing quickly*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Writer: 15 seconds!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: Chris, get dressed!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Chris: I'm going as fast as I can! Where the fuck is my shirt?/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Writer: 5...4...3...2..1!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: *dressed* Done!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"*puff of smoke goes off*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Writer: Enjoy your bp!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Chris: What? What is she...*looks down and sees a bp on his body* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! *passes out*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: Oh yea...Chris? Are you okay? *looks both ways and starts poking him with a stick*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Chris: Poke me one more time and I'm going chop your cock off./p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: *stops* Sorry./p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"*meanwhile, upstairs in the hallway*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Jimmi,Brendon, Adam: *bored sounding* ahhhh...help us or whatever.../p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Jimmi: *looks at her watch* we've been up here for the past 15 minutes. Even the animals are getting bored of this attack! *points to the animals, who are barely attacking them anymore*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Adam: Yeah, this blows. Brendon, you ready to go?/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Brendon: *gazing up at the ceiling* yea, lets go./p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"*they all get up and the animals fall asleep as they walk out the room*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"*Meanwhile, in the kitchen*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Chris: *freaking out* oh my god I'm going to murder you, Mia!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: It's gonna be fine, Chris. Maybe it's a temporary thing? *looks up at the sky*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Mia: *looks back at him* Nope. You'll have that for another few chapters./p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Chris: *tries to attack her, but Darren holds him back* I'm gonna to skin you alive!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Mia: Also, you will start your period in 5, 4, 3, 2,1...and.../p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Chris: *gets horrible cramps and realizes he's bleeding* Ahhhh! I'll fucking kill you!/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"*stops him and makes him take a nap*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: Uhhh.../p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Mia:Do you want a bp too?/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: *shakes his head furiously* No, I like my dick. maybe some other time, like when I'm dead. *says all of it sarcastically*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Mia: *glares at him* keep speaking to me in that tone and I'll make sure your wish is fulfilled early./p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: *backs up slowly and holds his hands up in surrender* Ok...ok. Just chill. Can you wake my boyfriend back up?/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Mia: Fine. *snaps fingers*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Chris: *wakes up and pounces on Mia* I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! *starts to choke her*/p  
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Darren: Shit! *looks at you* Well, we need to take a short break so I can get Chris off of Mia. I'll see you guys next time! *looks at Chris and Mia* CHRIS, PUT DOWN THE KNIFE!/p 


End file.
